As a Christian woman, you ought to have standards. These standards need to be set in place to protect you from future heartache.
Unfortunately, over the years I’ve had talks with friends and family discussing the red flags that were overlooked before getting their hearts crushed. You may have been through some pain of your own and I hope you’ve learned from the experience, but to those who have yet to face such pain, let me share with you what might save you from shedding unnecessary tears later on.
Here are 10 deal breakers or “red flags” to watch out for:
A guy who you have to pursue.
- A young lady’s role is never to pursue a guy. That’s his job. Trust me, it doesn’t matter how shy he may be, he will find a way to get to you if he really wants you. “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22
A guy who pressures you to have sex with him.
- A man of God desires sex like everyone else, but he will choose to wait for you and honor the boundaries of your relationship. “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Song of Solomon 2:7
A guy who makes you feel like you will never be enough.
- The purpose of your relationship should be to lead to marriage, right? Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who makes you feel like crap?!
A guy who pulls you away from God.
- A man of God will push you towards God, not pull you away from Him. He will challenge you on your spiritual journey.
A guy who is an undercover Christian.
- A man of God will be BOLD about his faith in the Lord,…no shame. “Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven.” Matthew 10:32
A guy who has no goals in life.
- What’s your future with this person? If he doesn’t have a plan for his own life, why do you think he will have one for the both of you, as a couple?
A guy who lacks integrity (sincere, honest).
- How will you be able to fully trust this guy?
A guy who spends most of his time with friends who are heavy drinkers, drug users, gamblers, and are all about the clubbin’ lifestyle.
- A man of God spends most of his time with friends he can count on to call him out when he’s doing things he shouldn’t. They will possess traits you admire in your man –> trustworthy, protector, hard worker, etc… “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17
A guy who is ashamed to be seen with you in public and wants the relationship to be a secret.
- A man who genuinely wants to be with you will be bragging about you to his friends, family, strangers,…anyone willing to stay still long enough to listen, actually. Don’t waste you time and energy on someone who is embarrassed to be seen with you. Apparently, they need more time to grow up.
A guy who allow people to walk all over him.
*A huuuuuge pet peeve of mine, especially with Christian men.
- A man of God is not spineless. Yes, he is respectful in his ways, but he will not allow people to use him as their doormat. He will have the discernment to speak up when needed and to be quiet when the situation calls for it. The Lord did not design men to be wimpy. They are born to lead, to hunt, to protect.
What are your thoughts on this topic? What are some of your deal breakers?
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I think my biggest pet peeve is a guy who pursues Jesus only because he is interested in me. The Bible says you will know them by their fruit. A relationship with Jesus is a personal relationship and it should be from the heart. I also feel like relationships deserves privacy. I do not think that everyone should be involved in a relationship and no every single detail about it. I think when we should be able to work it out as adults and if we need help we can discuss it.
Yes Fab, I agree.